


Trials and Tribulations

by life_is_righteous



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Everybody Lives, F/M, Frerin Lives, Nobody Dies, Reader is a Skinchanger, She is also a dwarf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-06-17 13:31:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15462459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_is_righteous/pseuds/life_is_righteous
Summary: Sometimes being a dwarven skin-changer was helpful especially if you could see up to a year into the future. Using your powers, you try to keep the Durins, yes, including Frerin, alive. Can you do it especially when feelings for the light haired prince come to surface?





	1. Chapter 1

Stealth was definitely not a strong point of yours in your dwarf form, but it definitely was in your wolf form. Walking slowly, you eye the target ten feet away and you crouch, getting ready to pounce.

“Y/n!”

Your ears and tail drops in disappointment as Frerin turns around to look at you. There goes your plan.

You look back and find Thorin making his way up to the both of you and you pounce on him, knocking him to the ground.

Thorin lets out a chuckle.

“Sorry. I did not realize you were trying to sneak up on him,” he says and you let out a whine before climbing off.

Sometimes Thorin was such a buzzkill. You could never have any fun with him around. He hands you your clothes and you go behind a bush to change. Coming out of the bush, you glare at Thorin but he just shrugs.

“We’re on a hunting trip, y/n. If you did, somehow, sneak up on Frerin, you might’ve got stabbed.”

You knew the dangers of being a wolf. You could be mistaken for a warg and killed immediately on the spot which is why you never changed unless you were at home in Ered Luin or just out with Thorin and Frerin; those two knew your wolf form like the back of their hands.

You take a seat next to Frerin and across from Thorin.

“I probably wouldn’t have given the fact she is likely to attack from behind,” Frerin says, giving you a nudge making you pout even more.

“If there were awards for killing the fun, you’d be number one all the time,” you grumble.

“I’m just trying to not get you killed. We’ve already lost enough,” he replies tiredly.

“I know, Thorin.”

It’s been years since Smaug attacked, but you remember it like yesterday. Dale being on fire. Dwarves being burned and eaten.

Your mother and father and the princes’ mother had been those that you’ve seen perish and you were close to dying as well if it wasn’t for Thrain, who saved you and took you under his wing twenty eight years ago.

“Grandfather wants to retake Moria.”

That brings you back to the present and you turn your attention back to your childhood best friend.

“What?”

Thorin sighs.

“He wants to take back Moria from the Balrog. He is gathering his army and is set to leave in 8 months time.”

You knew this was going to happen. You’ve seen it happen. You’ve seen what would happen to the dwarves that go there to try and reclaim Moria. Being able to see into the future was both a blessing and a curse.

You stand abruptly.

“Thorin! You can’t let him go! You know what I saw!”

“I am just a prince and a prince that’s not even close to being King. What makes you think that my father and grandfather will listen to me?”

“Then I will come with you!”

“Absolutely not!” Frerin and Thorin exclaims.

“I absolutely will be joining you! I know more than you both and I will do anything to keep you from dying.”

“And if you die? What then?” Frerin snaps.

“Then I die, don’t I? Everyone will be walking into this knowing that there is a possibility that they will die so why is it different for me?”

“Because! You actually count!”

“You are more important than me Frerin! I have watched you die at the hands of an orc. I will not let it happen again!” You snap.

Frerin stands and stalks off.

You turn to Thorin for answers, but he just shrugs.

“You matter to us y/n. We can’t lose you.”

“You pretend as if you do not matter to me. You two have become important figures in my life and I’ll be damned if I let the two of you go off on a suicide mission. My decision is final, Thorin. I will accompany you both to Moria.”

Thorin just nods, not wanting to get into an argument with you.

-

It was just as you had predicted. There was death everywhere and you were starting to panic. You lost sight of Frerin and Thorin hours ago and that did not bode well with you.

Looking around once more you see Azog fighting against King Thror and Frerin fighting another orc a few feet away. You immediately change into your wolf form and race up to Frerin as another orc tries to attack him and you rip its head off.

“Y/n! You shouldn’t have changed! They know about you now!” Frerin exclaims but you ignore him opting to rip orcs throats out.

Your kind was hunted by orcs but you knew weren’t going to do him any good if you were in your dwarf form.

-

“It was a foolish move! You could’ve been killed!”

“And you would have died had I not been there to save you!”

Thorin sighs. 

It had been days since the battle and you were all making your back to Ered Luin with a devastating loss, but that did not stop you or Frerin from arguing.

Ever since you told them that you would joining the journey to Moria, you and Frerin were always at each other’s throats and Thorin could see you both drifting apart. No longer were you close friends. It was like the friendship started diminishing into nothing which was painful.

Thorin knew that you both had feelings for each other even though you yourselves didn’t. He had always known but now it might all disappear.

“Do you really think now is the best time to argue?” Thorin snaps, turning back toward his little brother and best friend.

By now they have gained the attention of the remaining warriors and movement has stopped.

“Yes because your idiot brother doesn’t want to realize that I saved him,” you exclaim.

“I had myself covered thank you very much! You on the other hand are hopeless!”

“Am I?”

“Yes you are! You are hopeless in every little thing you do! You can’t do anything right. You are bothersome and a nuisance and I still don’t know why father had taken you in!” Frerin exclaims and you reel back like you’ve been hit.

“Y/n-,” Thorin tries but shift into your wolf form, needing to get as far away as possible. It was not like they needed you anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The company gathers in the shire.

It had been years since you ran off. Years since you last saw the princes and yet here you were about to see them again. Thorin had kept in touch once he heard you were in the Iron Hills but Frerin not so much. Every time Thorin brought him up in a letter, you would skip over it and never respond to that certain piece of information. It’s not like Frerin cared anyway. If he did, he would have rode to the Iron Hills and apologized but no apology came in person or through letter and you just knew you were no longer worth his time.

Knocking on the green door, you look around Hobbiton. You’ve been in the Shire a few times, but that was only during passing. You met a young lad once. He came at you with a wooden sword and you decided to humor him and play along. He was a great fighter for a hobbit so young. His mother was petrified at the fact that her son was attacking a stranger but you just laughed it off. You wondered if he still lived. You supposed he didn’t given the fact that Hobbits have such a shorter lifespan than dwarves. What was his name? Gerontius or something of that ilk?

You are brung out of your musings as the door opens. In front of you was a hobbit about your height with honey brown curls and light brown eyes. He looked rather perplexed to have you standing at his front door. It was if Gandalf didn’t tell him you were coming or something.

“Y/n, at your service,” you say, giving a short bow.

“Bilbo Baggins, at yours,” he responds, closing his open robe.

“May I come in?” you ask and he nods, moving aside to give you access.

“Do I know you?” 

You look at him and he did not at all look familiar.

“Unless you are Gerontius, which I know you are not, then no,” you say, removing your cloak and placing it on the coat rack.

“Are you speaking about my grandfather? Old Took?” Bilbo asks.

“I suppose. He was only 7 when I met him. How is he?”

“He died twenty one years ago,” Bilbo replies and you bow your head.

“I’m sorry to hear that. He was a fun child,” you say as Bilbo closes the door.

He leads you into the kitchen.

“He talked about you often if you are the dwarf that he talked about. The one that pretend to fight him and died dramatically,” Bilbo says and you let out a laugh.

“The very-,” you start but you are interrupted by the doorbell ringing, “same.”

You take a seat and look at the hobbit’s plate of food. It looked delicious and you were starving but you weren’t about to help yourself. Besides there was only one plate meaning he did not prepare dinner for everyone yet.

You hear heavy boots and you look up to find Dwalin standing in the doorway.

“By my beard,” he whispers as you stand.

“I could say the same. What happened to your hair? Are you already starting to lose some of it?” You ask.

“Still as cheeky as ever,” he says causing you to laugh. You place a kiss on his cheek before pulling him into a hug.

“It’s been too long,” he says, pulling back and giving you a once over.

“Way too long. How have you been?” You ask as you both take a seat, cringing as Dwalin takes Bilbo’s food.

“It’s been the same. Nothin new except we now have two more princes,” he says.

“Oh? Who got hitched?” You ask hoping to mahal it isn’t Frerin.

“It wasn’t Frerin I promise,” Dwalin laughs and you roll your eyes, “Dis had two sons with Vili-”

”the blonde one?”

”The very same. Kili and Fili are their names. Fili is the older one by five years.”

“Sounds like Frerin and Thorin if you ask me,” you mumble.

“Aye. Quite like them too,” he says, biting the head of the fish.

You look at Bilbo and he looks disgusted.

“Very good this. Got anymore?” Dwalin asks, spitting out a few chunks of food as he talks making you cringe. He learned no manners in the past 100 something years.

“What? More? Of course,” Bilbo says, standing and grabbing a plate. You watch him take a biscuit before passing the plate to Dwalin as if he wasn’t going to eat later.

“Not hungry?”

“I have enough manners to wait for everyone else,” you reply with a raised brow.

He just shrugs and continues eating his food.

“You see. The thing is,” Bilbo starts, “I wasn’t actually expecting any guests.”

As soon as he finishes, the doorbell rings and you and Dwalin look at him with a raised brow.

“That would be the door,” you both say in unison and the hobbit leaves.

“Who’s also coming?”

“Thorin and Frerin obviously, along with Fili and Kili. Oin and Gloin are the only other dwarves that I can think of that you would know and Balin,” Dwalin explains standing to get another biscuit. You laugh as his hand gets stuck.

“Oh ho!” You hear and you turn to find Balin with a smile.

“Evening brother!”

“By my beard! You are shorter and wider than last we met.”

“Wider not shorter. Still sharp enough for the both of us,” Balin laughs.

You watch them for a second before Balin head butts Dwalin making you wince. You preferred cheek kissing rather than head butting. You were pretty sure it caused some type of brain damage and of course immense pain.

“Lady y/n. It is of course a pleasure to see you,” Balin says and you stand to press a kiss to his cheek.

“It is a pleasure to see you as well, Lord Balin,” you say, giving him a smile.

“The prince will be happy to see you,” Balin says with a smirk.

“I just spoke to Thorin via raven a few months ago which is why I’m here now,” you huff.

“I meant Frerin.”

You scoff. Making your way to the hobbit’s pantry, the brothers follow you.

“He doesn’t care for me. I’m pretty sure he would rather have me dead than alive,” you mumble, looking through the food to get a good look at what kind of food is available to serve and completely ignoring the ranting hobbit.

“He misses you. We all do.”

“If he missed me, he would’ve said so himself. The only word I get about him is from Thorin and I ignore those,” you say, sniffing at the cheese and throwing at at the ground at the smell.

“It was simple words exchanged surely you cannot hold a grudge-,”

“I can Balin! He hurt me. He has hurt me since the day I told him I was going to help reclaim Moria. It was always insults with him and after that last one, I couldn’t handle it anymore. Running was a childish thing to do, I understand that, but I would rather be away from him than be hurt. I didn’t deserve that,” you aruge.

“I’m sorry,” Bilbo states and you all look at him.

“Apology accepted,” you all reply before the doorbell rings, twice. Bilbo leaves to answer the door.

“No one understands, Balin. It was more than just him saying I didn’t belong. We went from being best friends to being practically enemies and it hurt just being apart of something so good that went to absolute shit. I made my decision and I don’t regret it,” you say before walking out of the pantry.

“Nice place you’ve got,” you hear and then you hear scraping as if someone was wiping their boots against something.

“That’s my mother’s glory box!”

Dwalin pushes past you to get to the younger dwarf.

“Fili, Kili. Give us a hand.”

So that was Thorin’s nephews.

“Mr. Dwalin,” the brown haired dwarf says, looking at the warrior before his eyes flutter to you.

“And who might you be?” he asks.

“Y/n. At your service,” you say, giving him a small bow.

You look at him and his eyes are wide.

“You’re not THE y/n. Right?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Thorin’s best friend of course! The one who also changes into a wolf!”

You give him a smile.

It is good to know that Thorin still talks about you in a postive light.

“Ah that would be me. Pleased to meet you?”

“Kili at your service,” he says before Dwalin promptly drags him into the dining room.

“We need to lift this otherwise we’ll never get everyone in,” Balin says as Bilbo finally joins you.

“Everyone? Who’s everyone?”

But his question gets answered by the doorbell ringing for the sixth time tonight.

-

You knew absolutely no one and yet they all seemed to know you. Well you did know Oin and Gloin but that’s besides the point. 

Every dwarf was curious about your wolf form and how your heritage came to be and you had to explain to them how your female ancestor was a skin changer while your male ancestor was a dwarf. You were the only one to inherit the ability to shift therefore the only one to have ever existed as part dwarf, part skinchanger. They wondered if you could change into other forms, but you doubted it. Skinchangers were only supposed to have one form. Right?

“Here you go Ori, give it to me,” you hear and suddenly you are all singing a merry tune.

“That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!” You all sing laughing at the poor distraught hobbit. Even Gandalf was laughing along.

You all quiet down as the doorbell rings. That could only mean one thing.

“They are here.”

The rest of the dwarves make their way to the front door and you follow suit, standing behind Kili.

Thorin still looked as handsome as ever with a few gray streaks but that made him even better looking. Frerin looked the same as well and you cursed the line of Durin for being able to look so good.

“Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. We lost our way, twice,” Thorin says walking into the hobbit hole.

“Trust an idiot like you to get lost in the Shire,” you scoff and all the dwarves look at you, appalled but Thorin just smiles.

“Trust you to open your stupid mouth,” Thorin retorts and you glare at him before laughing and pressing a kiss to his cheek, pulling him into a hug

“It’s good to see you,  _ nadad _ ,” you say, pulling back.

“It’s good to see you too,  _ namad _ ,” he mutters and you smile at him before making eye contact with Frerin.

He glares at you before storming off into another room. You huff, trying not to let it bother you. 

-

Taking a seat on Thorin’s left, you are glad that Frerin was sitting at the other head. The glare he was sending you was bothersome.

“What news from the Iron Hills? Will Dain come?” Dwalin asks.

You already knew the answer so you voice it.

“He said no didn’t he? He said no like I said he would,” you say.

The weird thing about your abilities was that you didn’t have to be at the place that the even was happening in to see it. As long as it was an important part of your life, you were going to see it.

“Aye. He will not come,” Thorin says with a slight nod of his head.

“I told you Thorin and yet you did not believe me.”

“Why should I trust you when you do not tell me everything?”

“As one of my best friends, you should know that I need to let certain things happen,” you snap and you and Thorin glare at each other before you both sigh.

“Or she is just as hopeless I said she was and she shouldn’t be here in the first place,” you hear Frerin snap.

“Ah how lovely it is to have such a condescending little bastard aboard. Tell me, have you really not got that stick out of your ass?” You ask and Frerin stands, outraged.

“ _ Atkât! _ ” Thorin snaps and Frerin sits back down.

“If you two cannot get along, leave. I do not have time to do deal with this. It’s been 142 years. I would like to think that one of you grew up,” he growls, looking between you and Frerin. You wisely decide to keep your mouth shut. You really didn’t want to piss Thorin off anymore.

“If what you say is true, then why did you try to stop us from going to Moria?” Thorin ask, curious as to why you would try to stop Moria if it lead him to who he is and the process of reclaiming Erebor.

You look away from him.

“Because I saw Frerin die,” you mutter, knowing that only those sitting next you could hear you.

You cared deeply for Frerin. You couldn’t let him have that fate. It would not only bring heart break to you, but Thorin as well. You could not let your best friend suffer the loss of his grandfather, father, and brother.

Thorin sighs. Even after all these years he could still see that you harbored feelings for his little brother. Hopefully, you two will get your heads out of your asses before you lost your chance forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reminiscing about the past.

The company laughs as you prance around in your wolf form. You liked being a wolf. You felt stronger and more agile that way and you were quick on your feet. You were pretty large as well; about the size of a pony. You remember always giving rides to Thorin and Frerin and sometimes Dis if you were supervised and it was the strangest feeling but it made them happy and you happy. 

You knew you shouldn’t be changing but you couldn’t help it. You were bored and no one provided interesting conversation. You really wanted to talk to Thorin, but he was always surrounded by Frerin so that was a no. You needed to get out all of your energy.

Stopping, you wag your tail and crouch.

“Don’t you dare,” Thorin growls, not turning to look at you, but you don’t listen and tackle him off his pony, licking his face. You hear the rest of the company members laughing as Thorin sits up with your paws still on his shoulder.

You and Thorin stare at each other before you lick his entire face causing him to laugh.

“Get off of me you great beast,” he laughs and you lick his ear before getting off of him.

“We shall make camp here for tonight,” Thorin says with a smile still etched upon his face. Good. He needed to smile more.

You change to help the company set camp up.

“I can’t believe you. You still do the same stupid things even after all these years,” Thorin says, grabbing a rag and wiping his face.

“Just because age caught up with you doesn’t mean it has with me,” you retort earning a face full of rag.

You laugh, tossing the rag back at him before turning back to your duties.

No matter how grumpy he got, he always had time to humor you. 

Sitting down next to Bilbo, you watch Fili and Kili, thinking about Thorin and Frerin and how much they looked alike.

You are startled out of your thoughts as Kili sends you a wink.

“Can’t get enough of my good looks, eh?”

“If he wasn’t alive during the attack-.”

“He’s too young for me,” Thorin and Frerin finish and you smile at the both of them. Remembering your stance with Frerin, you look away. Frerin looks away as well.

“What does that even mean?” Kili asks.

“I’m older than Thorin, kid. Keep him down.”

“Him?” Kili asks confused before turning bright red causing you to laugh.

“Leave my nephew alone, y/n. You might just give him a heart attack,” Thorin jokes before walking off with Dwalin and Balin to converse quietly.

“What was Erebor like from your perspective? We heard our Uncles but not from you,” Fili inquires.

“I, myself, am the same age as Thorin but just a few weeks older so we all grew up together. All four of us. So I had basically the same perspective as your family,” you reply.

“But I mean you’re a skinchanger!” Kili exclaims and you laugh.

“I think the only difference is that I would mostly play pranks. Hey Frerin, remember that one time I  scared you shitless?” You ask, deciding to put your pettiness aside for now.

Frerin smiles slightly.

“Which one?” He asks and you laugh.

“I don’t really know, but I had a habit of sneaking up on your uncles. Thorin ruined it once. He was such a buzzkill. Still is,” you huff, earning an “I heard that” from Thorin. 

“What was the best prank you’ve ever pulled?”

You and Frerin exchange a look and the both of you go on to tell the story of Dwarves from the Iron Hills having a not so fun wake up call.

-

“- he swore he didn’t but he did. We saw that wet spot on his trousers,” Frerin says, leaning on you for support.

During the story he had somehow moved next to you and you were completely okay with it. It was a sign that things were somewhat going back to normal. You both still had a lot of things to talk about.

“That’s so great! Do you have any more stories?” Kili asks hopefully.

“They do, but not tonight. Get some rest. All of you. We have a long day ahead,” Thorin interrupts and the younger ones groan before setting up their bedrolls which gives you the perfect opportunity to talk to Frerin.

“Walk with me,” you say, standing.

Frerin holds out his hand and you help him up. You exchange a look with Thorin before the two of you walk off into the trees. Coming to a spot in a clearing, you turn to him, ready to ask him the question that’s been on your mind since the day you told him you were going with them to Moria.


	4. Chapter 4

“Why did you hurt me?”

Frerin looks away, not being able to look you in the eye. At the time, he didn’t know why, but as time passed he knew: he was in love with you. It should’ve been obvious, but it wasn’t and he wished he saw it sooner so he didn’t have to put you through so much pain. However, he couldn’t tell you that. Not now.

“Because you were willing to put yourself in danger for us. Something that no one should do.”

That didn’t make sense to you. At all. There were 13 dwarves, a hobbit, and a wizard that were willing to put their lives on the line for them now. If he was so worried then, why isn’t he worried now? You somehow knew that he was lying.

“And yet here we are. Why don’t you just tell me the truth?”

“It is the truth. You are important to Thorin and I! We have already lost so much to Smaug. We weren’t about to lose you too,” he argues.

You take a seat on a boulder, trying to process his words. He had a point, but it still didn’t explain his actions which caused you to flee.

“You never apologized,” you mutter, “I- I thought you were going to, but it never came and I figured your words were true-.”

“Of course it wasn’t!” Frerin exclaims, kneeling in front of you and taking your hand in his. 

“I was angry because you could’ve died. You almost did. And I’m sorry that I didn’t apologize all those years back. I just figured you hated me and never wanted to see me again. Thorin told me that you never asked about me in your correspondence so I took it as a sign that you never wanted to hear from me again. You have to believe me.”

You shake your head.

“But even leading up to Moria, the insults came and they came hard. You never let up and every day it was pushing me away and it hurt so much Frerin! Why did you do this to me!”

“Because I love you! Is that what you want to hear?! I pushed you away hoping and praying to mahal that you would stay behind. That you would be safe and it didn’t work because you still came and you almost died! All of that was to keep you safe because I love you,” he snaps.

Before you can respond, he backs away, leaving the way you both came. Frerin is in love with you?

You stand quickly, following him. You were not going to let him go this time.

Making your way into camp, you see Frerin walking over to Thorin so you quicken your pace. Grabbing his arm, you turn him to face you.

“You can’t just say that you love me and then walk away from me. That’s not how this works Frerin!” You snap, gaining the attention of the company.

“What did you want from me? To stay and be rejected? Because I would rather die!”

“Oh for Durin’s sake Frerin! Why don’t you just listen to me for once?! Ive told you all multiple times that I should not mess with the future and yet I tried to stop you from going to Moria! You know why? Because I love you and I didn’t want you to die!” you admit.

You look him in his eyes and it looks like he doesn’t believe you. Why wouldn’t he believe you?

“You don’t believe me do you?” you ask quietly.

“Any dam that said they loved me wanted nothing, but the title. All of them lied.”

That makes you confused

“The girl you love says she loves you back and you think she’s lying to you?” you ask.

“Things changed, y/n. While you were gone, I fell in love with someone and she said she loved me back, but it was nothing but a lie,” Frerin states coldly as he takes a seat on one of the logs.

You try to think about a dam who would do that to him and then it hits you.

“It was Priscilla, wasn’t it?” You ask quietly, taking a seat next to him.

Frerin lets out a sigh.

“It was years after you left. I told myself that maybe you weren’t my one and that I just needed to get out there and find her and I tried so hard. Too hard in fact. I believed her when she said she loved me, but in reality she was just using me to get close to Thorin and the crown. The day I found out it was like a piece of my heart broke and I swore off love. I couldn’t go through that pain again,” Frerin explains and you reach over to clasp his hands in yours.

“Frerin. Look at me,” you start and he does, “I am sorry for the way that you were treated. That she and I broke your heart, but I want to fix it, if you’d let me. I’m not like her, Frerin. I am truly in love with you and I have been ever since I could feel that sort of thing. Nothing is ever going to stop me. You just have to let me in.”

His eyes bore into yours as if looking for a lie. You know he doesn’t find one as he gives your hand a squeeze and you a soft smile.

“Promise me you won’t hurt me.”

You rest your forehead against his, closing your eyes.

“I promise.”


	5. Chapter 5

You let out a soft sigh as Frerin rests against your back. You were both currently on watch. As a wolf, your senses were heightened which you were grateful for. Apparently, you also made for a great cushion.

You feel eyes on you and you lift your head to find Thorin looking at you both with a raised brow.

Ever since you had confessed your feelings, you and Frerin were always together. You often trotted alongside him whether it be in your wolf form or on your horse. You were always together and it made you happy.

“Stop looking at us like that, Thorin,” Frerin states, not even opening his eyes to spare Thorin a glance, “it was you who wanted us to be together was it not?”

“It was, however I was not expecting it to happen so soon-”

“The only thing we’re doing right now is getting back to how things were before. No romance yet,” Frerin interrupts and you go back to laying your head on the ground.

While you two were always together, that was it. No kissing, no holding hands, nothing and you were okay with that. You understood that these things needed time and you would give whatever time it needed.

“Go to bed, Thorin. You’re making me nervous,” Frerin ands and you let a huff that was meant as a laugh.

Kili and Fili come running into the clearing.

“Help! It’s Bilbo! He’s been taken by trolls!”

-

And that is how you ended up in a sack.

You decided to turn back into your dwarvish form that way you wouldn’t be so in the way and because of Bilbo’s second capture, you were currently in a sack. You didn’t really blame him. You blamed Fili and Kili. If they had been paying more attention to the ponies, maybe they would’ve noticed the trolls. There were probably off smoking that damn pipe weed.

“I’m going to kill your nephews, Thorin,” you growl, trying to untie the sack with your teeth.

“It is the hobbit-,”

“Who was in charge of the ponies? Last i checked it was these two chuckle heads,” you say, kicking Kili with your feet.

“Ow! That’s not nice.”

“Neither is being shoved in a sack!”

“Quit your griping!” One of the trolls snap and you glare at the beast. This was going to be a long night.

-

Finally getting out of the sack, you stretch. Gandalf was always there to save the day. Helping the rest up, you grab your discarded weapons.

“You still have it,” you hear and you turn around to find Frerin, but he wasn’t looking at you, but rather the dagger in your hands. It had been a gift from him to you for your coming of age celebration. You shared it with Thorin but Frerin had given you both gifts and you kept yours and will keep it until he end of your days.

“Of course I did. Did you think I would throw them away?”

“I thought you hated me so yes.”

“Oh you stupid dwarf. I could never hate you and I would never throw anything away that I got from someone important,” you say, rubbing your thumb against his cheek before pulling away.

“Even the little stuffed animal I got you when I was five?”

Digging into your bag, you show him the little turtle you kept after all these years causing him to smile.

“Of course you kept it,” he says and you smile back at him before walking into the forest to change forms. Handing your clothes over to Frerin, you follow Thorin in his search to find a troll cave and you let out a bark as your nose sniffs it out.

Opting to stay outside, you perch on a ledge to watch over everyone. Fili and Kili were plotting something judging by their hushed tones. They didn’t need to cause anymore trouble.

Your ears prick as you hear something approaching. Letting out a bark, Thorin comes running out. You growl before following the noises. Imagine your surprise when you find a sled being led by rabbits. You aren’t so surprised, however, when you spot the familiar wizard. Of course Radagast would be on a sled led by rabbits.

Nudging Frerin, you take the clothes from his hands and go to the bushes to change back into your dwarf form.

“Who is this lunatic?” Frerin mutters as Radagast shouts something about thieves and murder.

“Radagast the Brown. Caretaker of Greenwood,” you say and Radagast turns to you.

“Y/n. Fancy seeing you here,” he says and you bow your head at him.

“You two know each other?” Thorin asks confused.

“He saved my life. Multiple times. It’s been a hundred plus years Thorin. You didn’t think that I’d stay just in the Iron Hills did you?” you ask.

“Knowing you, no,” Thorin replies as Gandalf takes Radagast to the side, not knowing that you were soon going to be attacked by wargs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sappiness and elves.

Clambering down into the random cave, you let out a sigh of relief. It was a hard run and you were definitely not made for running in your dwarf form.

You hear horses up above and fighting going on and you jump as an orc comes rolling down the hole. Frerin pushes you behind him but you relax as you realize it’s dead. Frerin, however, doesn’t.

He flinches as you lay a hand on his lower back, but he still doesn’t relax. You move to stand in front of him, but he pays you no heed, staring at the dead orc in front of him.

You didn’t know for certain, but you had a feeling that he had nightmares after Moria. You had it as well sometimes. You sometimes witnessed his nightmares first hand when you were on watch. He would sweat profusely and twitch before waking up in a pant. You hated what it did to him and you wish you could take it away from him. No one deserved that kind of torture. You were certain that Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin had the same dreams but they seemed better at hiding it.

Placing your hand on his arm, you begin to rub small circles on his arm, knowing that it would calm him.

Whenever he and Thorin got into a fight, he would immediately come to you and he would have an emotional break down. Thorin was the person he looked up to the most and it always hurt him when Thorin looked down on him or judged him for doing something he thought was reckless. In those times of need, you learned how to calm him down and it always worked.

He finally looks at you after calming down and you smile reassuringly up at him.

“Alright?” You ask and he gulps slowly before nodding. You smile again before following Dwalin down the path you somehow knew would lead you to the elves that Thorin was growling about.

Frerin watches you walk away as Thorin claps him on the back. Frerin watches Thorin for a second and Thorin smiles.

“If you don’t marry her, Frerin, I will.”

Frerin punches his arm in retaliation.

“I’ll kick you ass if you do,” he states and Thorin laughs.

The two brothers finally pick up the slack and follow the other dwarves into, what they’re sure is, the valley of Imladris.

-

Taking a seat across from Dwalin, you look around. The place was absolutely beautiful. Your fellow dwarves might disagree, but you didn’t care. You have never been able to visit an elven kingdoms; Thorin and Frerin made sure off that. When you left Ered Luin, you avoided the elven cities as well. You did not feel like being questioned. While you were in Mirkwood, you did not go to the elven kingdom because rumor had it that Thranduil was a jerk so Elves was a whole new concept to you.

You thank the elf that places a bowl of food in front of you and she gives you a weird look before walking away. She probably didn’t expect to get a Thanks from anyone.

“Where’s the meat?” Dwalin asks incredulously, picking up his greens and tossing them back into the bowl.

“They’re elves, Dwalin. What did you expect?” Kili asks from beside you.

“Actually, elves do not only eat vegetables. They in fact are hunters AND gathers so they do eat meat. I suspect that they’re keeping it from us just to annoy us,” you tell him, looking for some type of dressing as you hear, “I don’t like green food.”

“Bloody tree shaggers. Trying to starve us are they. Well we’ll show them!” Dwalin exclaims digging into his meal and you laugh.

Reverse psychology worked wonders on dwarves.

You look up to find Frerin and he’s looking at you from his spot between Fili and Nori with his chin resting in his hand. You smile and wave at him and he smiles back before turning to eat dinner.

“This is so gross,” Kili complains.

“What is? The vegetables?” you ask, digging into your meal as well.

“No! Watching you and Frerin fawn over each other,” Kili grumbles and you roll your eyes.

“Well, would you have us fighting instead?”

“It’s better than watching you make googly eyes at each other. Makes me want to throw up,” Kili states and you laugh.

“When you find that someone, you’ll know how it feels, little one,” you say, pinching his cheek. He pushes your hand away in a huff and goes back to eating his food in peace.

You look over to Frerin again and he was laughing at something Fili was saying and that made your heart happy. Frerin was happy in this moment and that’s all you can care about.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rivendell fun and seeing into the future.

Roaming around as your wolf has to be the best thing ever. You scared the hell out of the elves and they were often cursing you and themselves for falling for it multiple times. Elladan and Elrohir found it quite hilarious and you would often conspire against Lindir with them. Thorin may have hated elves, but you were having the time of your life.

Sometimes, Lord Elrond looked at you weirdly as if remembering something from the past, but you always shook it off. You quite enjoyed giving rides to Estel and he found it absolutely joyful. Elladan or Elrohir were always by your side, however, in case he fell.

You let out a yawn and you stretch your hind legs. You continue to explore Rivendell, finding it absolutely breathtaking. You see Frerin a few feet ahead and you smile to yourself.

You crouch a bit before sprinting and tackling him to the ground.

He lets out an “oomph” as he goes down.

“Y/n!” he complains as you get off.

You nudge your nose against his head, getting him to roll over and you drop yourself on him causing him to let out another oomph.

“You’ve gotten fat,” he jokes and you graze your teeth along his arm.

“I’m not being rude. I’m telling you to truth,” he retorts and you let out a whine, dropping your ears and getting off of him. You walk off to a corner and slump to the ground, looking ahead. Frerin sighs, crawling over to you and as soon as he’s in your eyeline, you turn away from him.

“I was just kidding y/n. You look absolutely beautiful,” Frerin says, moving to pet your head, but you avoid his touch. You hear footsteps and a laugh and you know its Thorin.

“What’s wrong?” Thorin asks and you thump your tail a bit. Maybe he’ll choose your side.

“I jokingly called her fat and she won’t accept my sorry,” Frerin huffs. You mock him by huffing as well.

Thorin chuckles, taking a seat in front of you and you rest your head on his lap, still not facing Frerin.

“You’re such a child right now,” Frerin grumbles as Thorin runs his hand through your coat.

“So are you,” you say, but you know that all they can hear is a whine.

“You both are children,” Thorin says, shaking his head.

“At least she’s letting you touch her. She just completely turned head as soon as I made contact. Y/n. You can’t keep ignoring me forever.”

You turn to look at him before turning to lay back down in Thorin’s lap.

“Fine. I’ll go talk to that she-elf instead,” Frerin says, standing. You let out a whine, even though you know he’s joking, before standing and grabbing his tunic with your teeth and pulling back. You let out another whine as he looks down at you and he smiles at you and you lick his face.

“That is not something you joke about Frerin,” Thorin scolds, standing as well. “Y/n knows I love her,” Frerin states and you nudge his face with yours before the three of you start walking again.

Suddenly, you drop to the ground as your world goes black.

-

When you wake, you are back in your human form in your bedroom. Thorin and Frerin were both on either side of your bed sleeping in chairs. This is not the first time you’ve fainted. The last time you had you saw Frerin’s death and now you saw Thorin’s, Frerin’s, Fili’s and Kili’s and you wanted to unsee it so bad.

Fili died alone, Kili died as a red haired elf tried watched him helplessly, Thorin was stabbed in the chest by Azog, and Frerin. Frerin’s was the hardest to watch because he was killed by a warg. Ripped from limb to limb and it hurt to see him killed by such a beast especially because it looked similar to you. You knew it wasn’t you, but still.

You reach out to squeeze Frerin’s hand and he jumps awake, causing the chair to scrape and Thorin to wake as well.

“Y/n. Are you okay?” he asks and you nod.

“What did you dream about?” Thorin asks, knowing that it was important.

“I just saw death. All four of you. Dead and it was horrible. I couldn’t do anything, but watch,” you respond, letting out a sob. Frerin immediately gathers you in his arms and moves into bed with you. Thorin leans back as he observes the two of you. He was glad that the both of you found each other. If you didn’t, nothing would be the way it was now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is in deep trouble.

“Y/n. I have a question.”

You turn to the golden haired prince who was currently lying next to you on the ground. Thorin had taken to staying in Rivendell. You had been here for about a week already and you were okay with it. You all needed to gain your strength back before you continued on.

“What is it?” You ask, looking back at the clouds.

Fili and Kili had taken to ask you questions about their uncles. They both knew that you knew more than they were letting on and more than Dis was telling them. They found your stories very interesting and would stick by your side when their uncles weren’t.

“Back at the entrance of Rivendell, you and Frerin had a moment. He looked absolutely terrified, but you calmed him within a matter of seconds,” Fili states and you smile at the memory.

“I did. Your two uncles and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. I was often the mediator between the two of them, but it was always Frerin that came to me, hurt. He always looked up to Thorin and it always hurt him when Thorin looked down on him. Every time he came to me, I would rub his arm like I had in the cave and he would calm down. Sometimes soothing touches work. Majority of the time they work,” you tell him.

Fili just continues to stare at the sky before voicing his opinion again.

“I just don’t understand why Frerin won’t court you already. The way he was looking at you that first night here almost made me want to throw up,” Fili says and you laugh at the fact that Kili said the exact same thing. Those two were exactly like their uncles in which they always voiced the same exact questions.

“Love takes patience little one and of your uncle is not ready then I will wait,” you explain and he scrunches his face up in confusion.

“But uncle never waited for you,” he says and you sit up, frowning. He wasn’t wrong. You didn’t even think about it that way. You spent all your years alone waiting for Frerin when you could’ve moved on, but he spent it finding other dams.

“Oh no. I see I’ve caused a dilemma,” Fili says, sitting up.

You shake your head in denial.

“No of course not. You did nothing of the sort, I promise,” you say and he looks at you suspicious before lying back down and you follow suit.

-

You walk around Rivendell with a frown on your face. You don’t understand why you were taking Fili’s words to heart now. You and Frerin had come to an agreement and you were okay with that so why were these feelings popping back up again?

You bump into someone and you look up to find the object of your thoughts.

Frerin smiles at you, but you continue to frown and walk right past him. The smile immediately drops and he reaches out to grab your arm.

“What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, looking at the ground.

“I was talking to Fili earlier and I just need to think things through before I talk to you,” you explain, shrugging out of his grip.

“Y/n. Please just tell me what’s wrong,” Frerin states, moving in front of you.

“It’s been weeks since I confessed and yet here we are still stepping around each other when you courted multiple dams before you even got to know them-,”

“I was hurt y/n-“

“And so was I, but yet here I am still waiting. I don’t know. It’s just confusing to me and I need to think about whether or not I’m making the right decision,” you say, walking past him.

“Making the right decision about what?”

“On whether or not waiting for you is worth it anymore,” you respond before turning your back.

Frerin was so going to kill Fili.

-

“I didn’t mean to! It just came out!” Fili exclaims, hiding behind Thorin for protection.

Frerin had stomped into their makeshift training area absolutely furious. If Fili hadn’t opened his mouth, everything would’ve been fine, but no, somehow Fili had convinced you that waiting was not worth it anymore.

“Frerin just calm down and think this through,” Thorin tries.

“But what if he ruined it? What if she decides that waiting is no longer what she wants to do?”

“Then she wouldn’t be in the wrong,” Fili snaps and Thorin elbows him as Frerin glares at him again.

“If this ends because of you, I’m going to chop your braids off.”

“You will do no such thing. You are both adults. Start acting like it,” Thorin snaps.

Why did things have to be so damn complicated?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide that the Durin’s are idiots.

It was finally time for the company to leave Rivendell and you had yet to speak to Frerin since the encounter with Fili. As soon as you saw him, you would turn into a different hallway or change into your wolf form. You knew you were being childish but you just didn’t know what to do. All these different feelings were popping up and you didn’t know how to handle them. It was so confusing.

Bringing up the rear, you watch as Bilbo stops to get one last look at Rivendell.

“Master Baggins. I suggest you keep up,” Thorin calls out and you nudge his shoulder with your snout.

He was way to rough with the hobbit and he just needed to relax a bit. It was not like Bilbo was doing anything wrong.

Thorin looks at you with a raised brow.

“Is there a reason why you’re in your wolf form right now?”

You narrow your eyes at him, knowing that he knew exactly why. You didn’t feel like talking to anyone and you didn’t have to as a wolf. It’s basically how you hid from your problems in Ered Luin and Erebor. Not in the Iron Hills though. You never changed there.

He shakes his head before reaching up to scratch behind your ear.

“Whatever you are thinking about, I hope you make the right decision. Nothing would make me happier than seeing you happy even if it may cause Frerin a Little pain.”

With those words, you know that Thorin would be there to support you no matter what even if it hurt Frerin which, by the way, you didn’t want to do. You give him a little affectionate lick to his cheek before continuing your trek out of Rivendell, nudging Fili and Kili when you deemed them to be walking too slow.

-

You are not only annoyed at the fact that you had to change back, but you were also annoyed at the fact that stone giants decided to duke it out with each other. What did they even have to fight about anyway? Who stole who’s rock? What in Durin’s name?

You cling onto the rock as much as you can as the giant starts moving again. You were separated from the others a few minutes ago and you are sure you are plunging to your death. The giant knocks into another rock and you fall into a heap of dwarves. Luckily you were on top of everyone. You couldn’t imagine what would happen if you fell under Bombur.

“Y/n! Fili!” You hear and you recognize the first voice as Frerin’s and the second as Thorin’s.

You stand, turning to look Fili over.

“Are you alright?” You ask, cupping his face in your hands and turning it so you can check for any scratches.

“I’m fine Auntie,” he complains and you give him another once over before letting him go and standing.

“Where’s Bilbo? Where is our hobbit?” You hear Bofur shout and you turn around, spying the hobbit hanging on a ledge.

You watch Thorin climb down and you make your way over to him as he helps Bilbo up. As soon as Bilbo is safe, Thorin slips but luckily you and Dwalin are there to catch him and help him up.

“I thought we lost our burglar,” Bofur exclaims.

“He’s been lost ever since he left home!” Thorin snaps, moving to find shelter, but you grab his arm.

“What?” He asks irritably, but you ignore his attitude, quietly checking him over like you did Fili. Deeming him safe, you quietly do the same to Kili. Thorin and Frerin knew that it was always something you needed to do after a dangerous encounter. You need to make sure that everyone was safe. That was the only way to calm your heart: to feel life thrumming through their veins. 

When it comes to Frerin you hesitate a bit. You didn’t know whether or not Frerin was comfortable with you touching him. You hadn’t talked to him in weeks.

Frerin senses your hesitation and walks into your hands that were poised to cup his face. You turn him to check for injuries and you don’t find any. Your Durin boys were safe.

“Let’s get inside,” he says and you nod turning around and walking to the cave that Dwalin found.

-

You try to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but it just wasn’t happening so you just close your eyes and think about everything.

Frerin has not confronted you after everything. He knew you needed space and he gave you just that. You need to think about what was happening. The more you thought about it, the more obvious it became: you were thinking about it too much.

You were distracting yourself from your quest to keep the Durin’s alive. You were in love and you knew that if you continued to think about it, it would be disastrous. You needed to stop focusing on your feelings for Frerin and focus on the quest at hand. Love could wait.

Your eyes snap open as you hear sand seeping though something in the ground. That could only mean one thing.

You don’t have anytime to think about it before you’re plunging down a hole.

-

No matter how hard you try, you can’t hold back a scream as you watch Thorin get whipped by those goblins. He’s being tortured and you can’t do anything about it. All because he had an elvish sword. 

You see red as he lands on his knees and you feel yourself transforming, but it was something twice as big than your normal size but you ignore it, opting to rip out the throats of the goblins who dared hurt your Durin.

You immediately go after the goblin king and rip his throat out as you see a bright light behind you.

You turn to find Gandalf telling everyone to arm themselves and with a renewed vigor , the company makes their way out of the mountain.

Running down the hill, you transform into your dwarf form immediately taking Thorin’s offered coat, using his belt to tie the coat securely around yourself.

“Are you okay?” You ask, trying to get him to remove his tunic but he shrugs you off.

“I’m fine y/n. You are worrying over nothing,” he says as Gandalf starts counting off dwarves.

“Over nothing?! You were being tortured and you call that nothing!”

“Yes because it is nothing! Stop worrying over me. Over us. We can handle ourselves. We’re not children. We don’t need you,” Thorin snaps back and you step back from him.

“Very well,” you say, pushing past him.

Durins are stupid.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of eagles and bears.

You hated heights and being on an eagle made your fear increase even more.

This fear was something you kept to yourself. Not even Thorin knew about it. To be honest, you were embarrassed. You could kill orcs, change into a wolf and here you were, afraid of heights. No one would ever let you live it down.

You clutch the feathers tightly and let out a yelp as the eagle starts speaking.

“If you could not pull my feathers out that would be great,” it says and it didn’t sound happy so you slowly release them.

“Thank you,” It huffs and you can’t help but laugh.

You didn’t think that eagles spoke then again, you should have given the fact that you could speak to ravens. You also remembered that the people of Dale could speak to Thrushes. Maybe all birds could speak? Little did you know that you were both right and wrong.

You are distracted from thinking too much about talking birds as the eagle carrying Thorin soars past you.

He had taken quite a hit after charging Azog and you weren’t sure if he was going to make it.

You remember cursing his stupidity as he blindly rushed Azog with nothing but his sword and Oakenshield. You knew he was not going to win, not when he was easily outnumbered and you thanked Durin that Bilbo was there to save him while you were dangling from the tree.

You blamed yourself for Thorin getting hurt. You were a seer. You saw things like Bilbo asking for a handkerchief and Fili and Kili losing the ponies and yet you could not see Thorin almost getting killed by a Warg. Thorin being in pain was all your fault. You were truly good for nothing.

Thanking the eagle as you climb off, you watch from a distance as Gandalf tries to revive Thorin. You couldn’t bring yourself to join them. If your seeing ability had worked, Thorin would not be currently trying to fight for his life.

You take a seat on a rock, away from everyone and stare at the ground contemplating all the things that should’ve happened.. The only person to notice your distance is Frerin but he can’t do anything about it as Thorin starts breathing again.

-

You go to edge of, what Gandalf called, the Carrock after everyone has settled and stare out at Erebor. You did not have a chance to look at it earlier, deciding to give everyone space. You missed your home dearly. You don’t think it would be the same for anyone, but you, Thorin, Balin, and Frerin. They will not feel the attachment that you feel.

You feel someone sit next to you and you look up to find Thorin.

You immediately look away from him, lying down with your head away from him. You were mad at him, yes, but you were more mad at yourself. He had almost died because of you. You almost lost your best friend and you hated yourself so much. You just couldn’t look at him anymore. Not without feeling guilty.

“Y/n. I’m sorry,” he says, hand running through your fur.

After everyone had turned their back, you shifted into your wolf form. Something you always did when you didn’t want to talk with anyone. All of the company members knew what it meant, but it was always Thorin and Frerin that always persisted.

You stand and walk away.

You find an empty spot between Fili and Kili and you squeeze yourself in there. They laugh before parting a bit and changing their angle so that they could lean on you.

You close your eyes, rest coming a bit easier between these two. It was like the good old days with you, Frerin and Thorin.

-

You could run faster but you needed to make sure everyone was safe and being the last one was the only way you could do that.

You spot a house not far from where you were and you were glad. You had at least some type of shelter for the night, just like Gandalf stated. The fact that he said that the owner could kill you completely slipped your mind. You sometimes had selective hearing.

You hear a roar and trees snapping as you get closer to the home.

Stupidly, you decide turn around and as you make eye contact with the creature, you stop and it stops as well.

You feel yourself changing again and you soon become the same size as the supposed bear. You ignore the dwarves calling for you and decide to circle the bear. He, yes you took a look, smelled familiar to  you and yet you have never met this bear before. You look down at yourself and you realize that you were a bear as well. What is going on?

“Who are you?” you hear and you look up to find that he was talking to you.

Maybe all animals could understand each other.

“Y/n. And you?” you ask.

“Beorn. I am a skinchanger like you,” he says, stopping his circling, “however, I’ve never known a skinchanger to have more than one form.”

“Me neither. Just found out I could change today,” you tell him and he lets out what you consider a laugh.

“We have a lot to talk about.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your abilities get explained to you and Fili goes off on Frerin again.

You’ve decided to take patrol with Beorn and it was honestly the best decision you’ve made so far. You’ve learned a lot about him and where your people originated from. You were learning about the side you never knew about and it made you so happy. You even got an answer as to why you had multiple forms.

According to Beorn, the very first skinchangers could change into any animal they wanted, but once they bred with a human, their skins were narrowed down to one. So that meant that your ancestors only partnered up with skinchangers at least until your one ancestor bedded a dwarf. Learning all this new information kept you excited and interested and because of it you could not part from Beorn and you were sure he felt the same way.

For years you both though that you were the only skinchangers left, but now you realized that you were not alone. How luck you are.

It’s late in the evening by the time you both get back to his home. All of the dwarves were sleeping so you decide to change back, taking the offered clothes from him.

“Thank you,” you say, smiling brightly even though you know he can’t see it.

“You’re welcome. Get some rest. I shall see you in the morning.”

You nod and you join the rest of the dwarves, slipping between Fili and Kili yet again.

-

You may have been the last to fall asleep but you were the first to wake which is why you were currently watching Beorn chop wood.

“But why did I change when I saw you?” You question.

“It is natural for you to change into a state where you can better protect yourself or others. Since I was larger than you, you changed into something that matched my size to defend yourself. In your wolf form, you are naturally large which is why you’ve never changed into a bigger size. Anything you’ve come across that was a threat to you was either smaller or the same size which is why you never changed,” he explains, placing another log on the tree stump.

“That explains the goblin tunnels,” you say and Beorn stops, turning to you with wide eyes.

“Were you hurt?” He asks, coming over to check on you as if he just found you.

“I’m fine. I wasn’t the one who got hurt,” you tell him and he gives you a once over before going back to chopping wood.

“Goblins and Orcs are dangerous. They will do anything to get rid of our kind. They have almost done so already,” He states and you immediately look at the chain on his wrist as evidence of his torture.

You felt pain when you learned of the extinction of your race and you felt bad for all of the pain Beorn had to go through. You had an easier life than he and you wished that you could take the pain from him.

You look to the house as you hear the door open. Out walks Gandalf and Bilbo and you sit back as you watch all of the dwarves introduce themselves nervously. Gandalf must’ve fabricated some kind of story if they were this nervous. The only ones not nervous were Thorin and Frerin which should’ve been expected.

-

“Can you believe it? I finally have one of my kind,” You babble excitedly to Frerin.

You just couldn’t get over it. You really couldn’t and you could feel your face heating up by just talking about it.

“You speak as if you aren’t part dwarf as well,” Frerin snaps and you frown at that.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, looking at your plate with interest.

“Why do you have to be so rude?” Fili snaps causing everyone to look at him, “Auntie is just happy that there’s another skinchanger and you have to shit on her mood. If you really loved her, you would be happy for her as well, instead you made her feel bad for being happy about it.”

Oh Fili. Your knight in dwarven tunic. He definitely was your favorite Durin now.

“It’s fine, Fili. I guess I do need to learn to shut my mouth sometimes,” you tell him.

“No Auntie! He shouldn’t make you feel bad for something you’re passionate about! You already feel bad because Thorin got hurt, don’t think I haven’t noticed. You deserve better than someone who can’t control his jealousy even though you aren’t courting especially when it’s all his fault,” Fili says, glaring at his uncle and you excuse yourself.

You were causing a rift between the Durin’s and you didn’t like it one bit.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You should be way too good at goodbyes.

“Is what Fili said true?” You hear and you don’t need to look up to know it was Thorin.

After Fili’s outburst, you decided to make your way to Beorn’s garden. The large bees were relaxing and you were very curious about them. Were you just really small or were they just really big? Were they bred that way or was Beorn just really just great at raising bees? All these questions and yet no answer seems plausible.

“There is a lot of things Fili said,” you tell him, laughing as you watch one of the bees fly into a tree trunk.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, y/n. Don’t play coy,” Thorin replies and you shrug, still not looking at him.

“You almost died because I didn’t see that you were in danger. If I had just seen-.”

“Stop blaming yourself. It is not your fault-.”

“But I saw Bilbo joining the journey, I saw Dain’s answer to the quest, I saw our trip to Rivendell and yet I didn’t see Azog attacking us! Because of me you almost died-!” You exclaim, the thought of losing Thorin bringing tears to your eyes.

Thorin reaches out to cup your face in his hands, eyes scanning your face.

“But I didn’t. I’m alive. I’m right here. Do not blame yourself for something that was out of your control,” he begs wiping your tears away.

You close your eyes, trying to gather yourself.

Thorin is right here. He is right in front of you. He is never going to leave you. He promised you.

All these thoughts repeat in your head like a mantra and it finally calms you down after a while.

Thorin is still rubbing circles on your cheeks and you smile up at him.

“I can’t wait to see the dam lucky enough to court you,” you say and he laughs, pulling back.

“No dams for me thanks.”

“But why? Have you seen all of them chasing you around?”

“No because you always scared them off,” he says rolling his eyes.

“Okay those were the ones that I KNEW were after your title,” you respond, leaning on your palm as you watch the bees fly by.

“That was basically all the dams in Ered Luin,” he says, taking out his pipe and stuffing it with pipe weed. Suddenly, something clicks in your head.

“You said no dams. Does that mean you have a dwarrow in your mind?” You ask turning to him and the blush that covers his cheeks is absolutely brilliant.

“Oohhh! Two kings under the mountain! How exciting! I really want to know who it is,” you say, giving him a nudge and he rolls his eyes.

“Why don’t you just focus on the fact that you found someone like yourself?” He asks, taking a puff.

He offers you some but you decline.

“It’s amazing really. I thought I was all alone, but I’m not. I’ve got you guys sure but that’s only half of me. I felt like I’ve been missing the other half and I found it. I finally found it Thorin and I feel like I belong here,” you tell him excitedly and he smiles at you.

Seeing you happy was always a joy for him because you got so excited about it and would ramble on for days and he loved it.

“So you’re choosing him over us?” A different voice asks and you turn to find Frerin.

“I said no such thing,” you say, mood instantly ruined.

“But that’s what it sounded like. That you are going to leave us. Are you?” He asks stubbornly.

“It did not, for one second, cross my mind, but now that it has maybe I will,” you snap, turning to face him once again.

“And What about the company? What about us?” He ask.

“I don’t think I want there to be an ‘us’. Not anymore,” you tell him and he frowns.

“Is that your final say on it?” He asks and you really want to say no, but ever since Fili shined a light on a few things, you decided that maybe this was for the best.

“Yes,” you tell him and he stiffens before nodding.

“I will accept your answer,” he says before leaving and this time it hurt more than the first.

-

You stand with the company as they each mount their ponies. Beorn has given you permission to stay and you were happy about it. You could learn more about your culture and how to change into your different forms. You successfully turned into a rat once, that had earned a round of laughter from the company.

You look up at Fili and he’s looking at you worriedly. He didn’t want to leave without you and even offered to stay, but you told him to go. He needed to be with his family once they stepped into the mountain. It was his birthright and you were not going to take it from him.

You look at Frerin and he looks detached and cold which was understandable.

“Take care of him, alright?” You ask as Fili looks to where you’re looking.

“If I don’t stab him,” he shrugs and you smack his thigh. He smiles down at you.

“You take care of yourself, you hear? And we will see you once the mountain is reclaimed,” he tells you and you smile at him before making your way over to Thorin.

“Hopefully this is not the last goodbye,” he says and you smile at him sadly.

“Take care of the idiot, alright? Lord knows he’ll need it,” you say and he chuckles before mounting his pony.

“Also, be careful of the spiders, don’t let the dragon sickness get to you, and be prepared for war,” you tell him and he raises his brow before shaking his head.

“Thank you namad. I shall see you when Erebor is back in our hands.”

You nod before backing away.

You take one last look at the company before they are on their way to Mirkwood.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War

It had been a couple of months since the company left and you were, to put it nicely, happy. Being in Beorn’s land gave you chance to change without being hunted for it. 

You asked him why you were able to change into multiple forms if your ancestor bred with a dwarf and he said that he didn’t know. That it may have simply skipped a few generations and the genes suddenly became dominant once again in you which is why you changed multiple forms. He didn’t have much information seeing as that skinchangers were very rare nowadays.

You pounce on Beorn, effectively tackling him to the ground. In your wolf form, you had no chance of taking his bear side down, but seeing that he was human right now, you had the advantage.

Beorn laughs, trying to sit up, but you push down hard causing him to fall down again.

“Get off of me you great beast,” he growls playfully and you back away as the memory of Thorin pops into your head. 

You turn towards the mountain. 

You haven’t heard anything from them yet and Thorin promised you that he would send word to you when he reclaimed Erebor and Durin’s day was two weeks ago. Did they perish? It was not possible because you would’ve seen it happen? Right.

“Go to them,” you hear and you look at Beorn confused.

“Go to them y/n. They are your kin and they are making you worry. Go to them,” he says rubbing your head. 

You lean into the touch before you start running to Erebor, your need for food and rest not as strong in your wolf form.

Beorn shakes his head, he really hope that you will be okay.

-

It takes you two days nonstop to run from Beorn’s lands to Erebor. Y

ou ran straight through the forest and what you found was worst than what you were expecting. There was a war and there was so much blood and bodies. You try to remember that vision you had. You just knew you had to find your Durin’s immediately.

Your eyes snap open as you remember where they were and you immediately run to Raven Hill, something you wished to be restored once Erebor was as reclaimed.

You kill as much orcs as possible as you run there and your heart stops as you see Fili dangling from Azog’s hand. This was how it ended for him. He was the first one to die and he died alone, but you weren’t going to let that happen.

You start running towards the towers and mid-stride, you change into an eagle. One of the same eagles that helped you get to the carrock. Flying up to where Azog is, you turn on your side and pluck Fili from his hands, bring him to the ground next to Kili.

“Auntie?” Fili asks and you nod.

You nod to the both of them, signaling for them to get on your back and they do as they are told and you fly them to where Frerin, Dwalin, and Thorin are standing, changing into your wolf form as soon as they are off your back.

You rub your head against Thorin’s cheek and go to do the same to Frerin, but you let out a high pitched grunt as you feel something pierce your side and you immediately start feeling woozy, but you can’t see what’s wrong as the ground rushes up to meet you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake and find that the Durin’s survive.

You open your eyes slowly as light filters through the room. One look around and you realize that you were in Erebor’s healer’s wing. You lay back, closing your eyes to get more rest. Right before you’re about to slip into a deep sleep, you remember the war and what happened.

You quickly stand, ignoring the pain in your side and make your way to the front gates. You needed to make sure everyone was okay.

You pass a few dwarrow, but you ignore them as you come to a stop in the main hall. As soon as you see the familiar head of hair, you start sprinting.

Frerin turns slightly before he is suddenly tackled to the ground. He lets out an oomph as his back makes contact with the marble floor but he doesn’t seem to care as he recognizes who has tackled him to the ground.

He doesn’t hear your sobs, but he feels them racking your body and he pulls you closer to him, wanting to let you get it all out. It was an uncomfortable position, but for you, he’ll do anything.

Frerin notices Thorin standing above him and takes his offered hand, bringing you up with him. Thorin wraps his arms around the both of you and the dwarves that were curious looks away knowing that this moment was only to be shared between you three.

“You’re alive. You’re both a live,” you say, wrapping your other arm around Thorin.

“We are amralime and we aren’t going anywhere anytime soon,” Frerin tells you.

You pull back, wiping your tears from your face and looking at your Durin’s.

“Where are the boys? Last I remember Fili was almost killed by Azog,” You ask, hoping that they made it out safely.

“They are both fine. They’re currently helping with healing wounds. How are you? Should you be moving so soon?” Thorin asks, looking down at your wound.

“I don’t know if I’m being honest. I woke up and remembered the war and needed to check on you both,” you tell them, wincing as the pain takes over yet again.

“Come let me get you back to the healer’s wing and Thorin will bring our nephews to you,” Frerin says, slipping under your arm and helping you back to the healer’s wing.

-

“I am sorry for being such a colossal asshole. I was jealous that you spoke so highly of Beorn when I’ve never heard you speak of me like that,” Frerin says as he places you down on the bed.

“I figured, but Frerin I was so happy to finally find someone who was a skinchanger, the side of me that I never knew about except for the fact that it existed and you took that from me,” you tell him.

“I know and I’m sorry for that. You do not have to forgive me. Just know that I am truly and irrevocably sorry for the pain that I’ve caused you,” he says, moving towards the door.

“Frerin-.”

“Rest, y/n. You deserve it,” is his reply before he quietly makes his way out of the room. You sigh and lean back in your bed, wanting to get more rest.

When you wake again, you find both Fili and Kili sleeping in chairs next to your bed. Thorin and Frerin are off to the side talking quietly to each other.

You slowly turn towards Fili, who’s feet was propped on your bed. How rude. You slowly push his feet off of your bed and when it falls to the ground, he jolts awake, scraping his chair backwards and causing Kili to jolt awake as well. You giggle at the both of them as Fili whines.

“That was not nice Auntie,” Fili says as Thorin and Frerin make your way over to you three.

“Next time don’t put your dirty foot on my bed,” you say as you look around.

The Durins were alive and you could not be happier.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frerin is ready to let you go, you are not.

Looking at the people before you, you couldn’t help but feel ecstatic. The eagles that you rode on after escaping from Azog the first time were actually skin changers! There were more of you out there! It wasn’t just you and Beorn anymore. You were not alone.

“I think we may have broken her,” the youngest of the clan, Luniél, states looking at you wearily.

You had a stupid grin on your face and you try to tone it down, knowing that it might creep them out.

“I’m sorry! But after all this time, I thought I was the only one left! Then I find Beorn and now you folks! I don’t think you understand how I feel,” you tell them excitedly and they laugh.

“There are more of us. There is the horse clan in Rohan and the pony clan in the Shire, the Raven clan in the Iron Hills And Ered Luin, and the thrushes in Dale,” the leader, Kurinul says, deep voice calming you.

“Why are ponies and horse in different clans?” You ask, confused.

“They have separated for their uses. Horses go to the race of man while ponies go to the race of dwarves and hobbits for their heights are more useful,” he explains.

“Are all animals skin changers?”

Kalíl shakes her head.

“They are not. The only ones who are skin changers are the ones that you can understand which is why you were able to understand me after I asked you to stop pulling on my feathers,” she says and you wince.

You forgot about that.

“Sorry,” You mutter no longer able to look her in the eyes.

“It matters not. We came here to tell you that we want you to travel with us to visit our kin so you can get to know your other half better,” she says and the prospect of joining them excites you, but leaving your home that you just reclaimed dampens your mood.

You just got home and you had yet to walk its halls again.

“Do not fret little one. We will wait until you have your answer,” Kurinul states and you nod at them before they take their leave.

You had a decision to make.

-

Frerin sighs, taking a seat on a piece of broken wall.

Erebor was back in their hands and no one had died and yet he could not find it in himself to be happy. He had overheard the conversation you had with the other skinchangers and he knew you would choose them. You spent 195 years thinking you were the only skinchanger left and now that you found out there were more, there was nothing stopping you from leaving.

Feeling someone take a seat next to him, he looks up. There you were. In all your injured glory. His heart stopped when he saw the arrow embedded in your side and he was beyond relieved that you made it out safely.

You open up your hand to him and he looks at it for second for taking it. It was always something that you did when you were unsure on whether or not the other person wanted any physical contact at all. Frerin And Thorin never really understood it.

“We made it Frerin. We actually made it,” you say excitedly and he laughs.

“We did didn’t we? We’re back home where we belong 171 years later,” he says and he frowns as your smile slips into a frown.

“There are others out there. Other skinchangers out there,” you tell him quietly.

Frerin sighs, giving your hand a squeeze.

“Go with them. I know you and this is what you wanted since you were little. Go ahead and find out who you are. Home will be here,” he tells you, giving you a small smile.

You look at him with a smile on your face as well.

“You better be waiting for me,” you tell him and he looks taken aback.

“You want me?”

You roll your eyes at the idiot.

“Frerin, I’ve wanted you for one hundred and seventy years, you daft idiot and if you think a few fights will-,” but your rant is interrupted by Frerin cupping your face and bring your face down to meet yours.

You smile and relax into him. It was about damn time.

He pulls back and rests his forehead on yours.

“Come back to me,” he pleads and you smile before pressing a kiss to his nose.

“I always will.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been three years since you’ve been home and now you were ready to go back.

It had been three years since you left Erebor and it had been the best three years of your life. You had met all of the skinchangers that were left and it was like you were finally whole. You felt complete. You learned how to change forms easier and could change into any beast you could think of. Beorn was not happy when you decided to change into a spider one night. He even gave you a whole lecture on why you shouldn’t change into predators and you just laughed.

After all this, it was decided that you needed to go home. You loved them but you knew your heart was in Erebor.

Soaring above Dale, you look at the field that the battle took place in and see three dwarves surrounded by four others walking back to Erebor and you just know who they are.

Diving down, you change into your wolf form halfway and you tackle all three of the dwarves to the ground.

One dwarf lets out a laugh and you look up to find Dwalin. The other guards look a bit apprehensive and are holding their weapons towards you.

“Lay down your arms. She’s no more dangerous than a fly,” Dwalin says as Thorin lets out a groan.

You press down on him as he tries to get up and he grunts as he makes contact with the ground again.

“Get off of me you great beast,” he grits out and you get off of them, letting the three Durins breathe.

“Even after all these years, I’m still not used to it,” Frerin says as he stands and you give him a huge lick, spit coating his face. He groans in disgust and you let out a laugh, the laugh sounding like a bark to the dwarves ears.

Thorin rests his hands in your fur and you lean into the touch before rubbing your cheek against his facs. He coughs a bit, getting your fur in his mouth and you snort before changing into a raven and flying over to Fili’s shoulder.

You knew that dwarves could speak to ravens this is the most helpful form.

“Got a hang of changing forms did you?” Fili asks, petting your head with his index finger and you lean into his touch before pulling back.

“You should see my other forms,” you say, stretching your wings and hitting Fili in the face.

“Sorry,” you say, rubbing your head against his as he rubs his now sore eye.

“It’s fine, Auntie,” he laughs, giving you a smile, “just don’t shit on my back.”

You give a light nip on his ear before flying over to Dwalin.

“Have you been keeping them in line?” You ask and he lets out a laugh.

“You know I have. Bilbo, however, has been better at it than I am,” he says and you both turn to look at Thorin who is currently blushing.

“Care to explain?” You ask.

You don’t know much about what has transpired between Thorin and Bilbo seeing that you missed the more important parts of the journey. You do remember the hug that they shared on the Carrock and that Thorin started treating Bilbo a bit better but that was it. You were never given an explanation as to what happened between when they left and Ravenhill.

“Not to a bird,” he grumbles causing Fili and Frerin to laugh.

“Let’s go inside then. I’d quite like to change back, but I can’t really do that,” you say and the dwarves chuckle, continuing their trek back to Erebor.

-

“Three years it took you to tell me that you almost killed Bilbo! Three years!” You exclaim, hitting Thorin upside the head.

After finding out what happened, you were not happy and the story wasn’t even halfway done yet! He had just gotten done explaining what happened on the ramparts.

“Trust me, I was just as upset when I realized what I had done to my one,” Thorin grumbles, rubbing the back of his head and you look at him confused.

“One?”

“Let’s just skip everything else and say that Thorin is absolutely in love with the hobbit and then confessed his feelings to our little hobbit and now they’re going to be married in a month or so,” Frerin says, avoiding the hand that reaches out to slap him.

“Why haven’t I been told of this?” You complain.

“Because I knew you would drop everything to come here- don’t deny it - and I wanted you to be with your kin. It’s about time you found someone like you and I didn’t want to take that from you,” Thorin explains and you have to admit: he was completely right.

You would have dropped everything just to come back here and you would have no regrets. Thorin was your brother in everything but blood and to hear he finally found his One made you happy

The door slams open to reveal a happy Kili.

“Auntie!” He exclaims, pulling you up from the chair and into a hug.

You laugh, wrapping your arms around his neck. It was great to be home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis gives Fili and Kili ideas

It felt so wonderful to be home. You only got a glimpse of what it looked like after Smaug’s rampage but now it looked like nothing ever happened. It just made you so happy. Your people were no longer struggling and you could not be happier.

You giggle as you watch Kili and Fili literally hang off of Dis. It was so great to see them act carefree. They were both very serious on the trip and as Princes you knew a lot weighed on their shoulders. You had seen that weight on Thorin and Frerin’s shoulders as well. Now, however, it seems the weight had been lifted and you knew that Thorin had secretly been giving less work to his nephews and pulled a bit more work on himself and Frerin. He knew the struggles of the crown and wanted to give his nephews the life that was taken from them.

“Auntie!”

A cry interrupts your thoughts and before you know it, you are being tackled to the ground.

You let out a groan and the weight gets off of you. You look up blearily at Kili and he looks a bit sheepish.

“I thought you were paying attention. You were looking right at us,” Kili says, helping you stand.

“I was just thinking about how different you and Fili are from the trip and it really reminded me of Thorin and Frerin,” you tell him as Dis and Fili join you.

“What about our uncles?” Kili asks and you exchange a secretive look with Dis.

Thorin and Frerin could never fool the two of you.

“Nothing for you two to worry about,” you say, lacing your arms with his and joining their walk.

“So have you and Frerin talked yet?” Dis asks.

“No if I’m being honest,” you tell her.

It was true. You had been home for three weeks now, but you and Frerin had not spoken about the two of you. You’ve spoken, yes, but only about what has been going on for the past three years. You supposed it was time that you actually spoke of your feelings.

“One hundred and fifty one years you’ve been stepping around your feelings and you’re still at it. I’m going to have these two lock you both in a closet,” Dis tuts, shaking her head.

Kili pauses as if he’s thinking about it and you pinch his arm.

“Don’t you think about it,” you tell him and he sends you a smirk, something that you didn’t like one bit.

-

You should’ve known. You really should’ve known. You curse Dis for getting the idea of sticking you and Frerin in a closet stuck in her sons’ head. Now, you were rubbing your forehead as Frerin backs away to rub his.

“Your sister’s sons are something else, let me tell you,” you tell him and he chuckles despite the oncoming headache.

“They do come up with weird ideas,” he adds.

“Oh no. This wasn’t their idea. It was their mother’s. I’m sure she didn’t actually mean it though, but those two are like you and Thorin: once they get an idea in their head, they won’t get it out until they make it a reality,” you tell him and he laughs as he takes a seat next to you.

“Well, why did they lock us up then?”

“To expedite our talk about us,” you tell him.

“I didn’t think we were taking a long time,” he jokes and you snort.

“According to Dis 151 years is too long,” you say.

You feel Frerin’s hands resting on yours and you interlace your fingers.

“Well, they’ll just have to wait a bit more because I’m not quite done with my courting beads,” he says, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

You smile and press a kiss to his cheek.

You were glad that the two of you always came back to each other and getting the outcome that you have now was definitely worth the Trials and Tribulations.


End file.
